The Time When I Found Drugs on My Front Step

2 weeks after we moved in:

Nate was watching cops (how ironic). The episode was about a gigantic heroin bust. I was walking to the kitchen and I got sucked into the show so I propped myself on the edge of the couch to watch for a few minutes. A little while later, I went to check the mail. Walking back into the house, I noticed a small baggie that looked like drugs sitting right on our front step. Right THERE. I wasn’t thinking, picked the bag up, and brought it inside to show Nate.

Bag(The picture Nate took on his iPhone)

I wanted to make sure I wasn’t crazy, so I asked him what he thought it was and sure enough, he guessed drugs. I have this problem. Whenever Nate confirms my worry, I go to full-blown  crazy town. Remind me to tell you about the time I thought there were terrorists on our plane so I sobbed before takeoff (seriously) because Nate confirmed he thought the situation was suspicious, too.

From what we could figure out about the previous homeowners, it seemed like they were in debt. Nothing about our house seemed upgraded when we purchased it so we couldn’t figure out where the money went. They didn’t drive expensive cars and when we toured the house we didn’t notice high-end anything. We could not figure out where all the money went.

Drugs. It always the drugs.

As soon as Nate confirmed my suspicions, my mind went to the most ludicrous situations. I imagined their dealer making a drop at our house and soon he would come looking for payment. Nate tried to explain that drug dealers don’t typically offer IOUs, but I didn’t care. OUR HOUSE IS A DRUG HOTSPOT.

Nate took a picture of our drugs, which he googled and decided was METH (meth!) based on its smell, and sent it to his brother who is a police officer asking what we should do. He said we didn’t need to call the cops and we didn’t have anything to worry about.

I made Nate call the cops.

The police officer confirmed my suspicion! It WAS drugs! I was right! Sort of. Long story short, someone got conned and bought what the officer believed was fake drugs and most likely tossed it out the window of their car. The officer suggested a bird or animal may have gotten ahold of it and brought it up to our house.

First time home owners can probably relate to that feeling of panic you have right before, during, and after buying your house. The holy crap what did I just do? feeling. Well, you’ve got nothing on me because purchased a drug den.

Anyone else find meth on their doorstep? Anybody? ANYBODY? That’s totally normal, right?

What’s your craziest house story?